Hi Hater! – Definition of a Hater
“If you need someone to hate on, feel free to hate on me” – Katt Williams Pimp Chronicles
I think that was from either from Pimp Chronicles or American Hustle. If I’m wrong, oh well. I wanna go back to what I wrote the other night about life being to short to worry about things that don’t matter and learning to forgive and it made me think of haters. With the Steve Harvey story coming out in the media and blogs, it seems to me that everytime we get our chance to shine by doing something, anything that others take notice too, there’s always this band of haters nearby. They always tell you what you can’t do because they can’t do it. They always tell you not to bother trying because you’re gonna fail anyway. Then when you do get your shine, they either want to ride the bandwagon, or get even more upset that you happen to be in the position that you are in and don’t deserve it.
There’s a difference between hating and constructive criticism. Lets’ take this comment for example:
Bum Bitch : I don’t like her because she think she cute. She think she all that and I don’t like her smart-ass attitude. Stuck up ass!
This belongs to a hater. Clearly, for this person, everytime this woman walked in her presence, she had a hateful comment to say. Everytime this woman came in presence with her hair and nails done right, outfit tight, and exuded confidence, she felt threatened. One has to ask, was bum bitch jealous of the fact that she cared about her appearance? Or about the fact that she was intelligent? I guess carrying yourself with confidence and being assertive clearly means that she’s stuck up in Bum Bitch mind and we just can’t have that can we? Here’s how she could have clarified her comment constructively:
Bum Bitch: She’s seems like a well-kept person. But I’m worried that she may be too high maintenance and she can come off as arrogant sometimes.
Again, this is constructive criticism. There’s a reason why this particular person rubs her the wrong way. Not some vague detail that she just thinks she’s cute. Hell, I know I’m cute and intelligent and I carry myself in that fashion. That’s why I don’t put up with nonsense. It could also mean a self-esteem issue for bum bitch and maybe she’s just insecure. I think that we have our own set of insecurities and that we tend to take them out on others which is unfair. One must dig deep to find out what it is that actually makes that person insecure and find ways to handle that insecurity. Could be talking about it to a friend or dealing with your own issues by stepping your game up. Join a club, perform community service or give back to others. Constructive criticism is simply disagreeing without being disagreeable. One can say that they do not like something, without having to make it personal or about you. I can say that I did not like For Colored Girls because I could not get the dialogue and I thought that some of the scenes were over the top. That does not make me a hater. But be aware that constructive criticism can evolve into hating without any basis.
Here’s another one
Lame: Look at this corny ass ni@@a . Betcha he don’t get no p***y. lame
One thing I learned about being around guys is that there’s always some sex factor when it comes to hating. It’s as if your bravado and manhood depends on how many girl you sleep with. This comment seems to come from someone who clearly does not have much going on in his life and felt the need to down others. He’s the type that has been chasing women most of his life and is stuck doing the same thing while others around him are moving up doing big things. It’s not that he was never given an opportunity but when push came to shove, and hard work and determination was involved, he decided, eh, who needs that?
Haters can come in the form of hoes, so-called friends, family members co-workers, and anyone else in between. They never seem to have any solutions, but only to mess with your groove. If we keep giving attention to the wrong type of hype, it’s only going to get bigger and bigger. We will always be curious about what they are doing and up to. That’s just the way it is. Ask Sarah Palin. If we give attention to the good that people do, haters will still come out in full force to say that it either wasn’t enough, wasn’t good, and pretend that someone else could do it better. Haters will always exists and there’s no point of not trying because of fear of haters. I always say that I love haters because they keep me going and they keep me motivated to do what I do. For if it wasn’t for them, I would be stuck on their level. So for that, I say..
Green Afro Diva ™ - Natural Living with Flava 