The Joys of Motherhood: The MegaSh*ts

Posted on March 13, 2011. Filed under: For mommas only | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |


Today, my daughter and I went to Whole Foods to pick up some things and then we were gonna head to Target. So they were giving out free popcorn and I let her have the whole bag(just a small bag) since she loves popcorn. We walk towards the back into the bakery section and I notice that she’s doing the potty waddle(mothers know what I’m talking about here) and has that I gotta poop look, but don’t wanna tell me. So I took her to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet to do her thang. Nothing. Not even a little bit that usually comes out. She tells me that she’s finished so I wipe her and we finish our shopping. Not even 10 minutes go by as we were about to leave, and here comes that waddle again. Now she’s whining. So, I take her into the bathroom again and she goes #2 on herself but not a lot comes out. I know from dealing with her that there’s more, much more, to come so I let her sit there for a while. Nothing. I knew I was gonna regret getting her off the toilet, but I said screw it. And as we sat down to eat, lo and behold she went. And went. And went. And what did I do? Continue to eat my food.


I was gonna teach her a lesson that when she has to go potty, she needs to tell me and just not go on herself. If she’s doing #1, no problem; she just goes right by herself to the bathroom with no problems. If she was at home, I would have her stay on the toilet for about an hour until she does something. But most of the time, after I finish putting clean underwear on her, she goes right in her underwear and THEN tells me after the fact. So yes, I let her sit in her own poo, tears in her eyes and all, while I finished my food(don’t judge me). And after I was done, we went to the car and I sat a plastic bag in her car seat and took a long sh*tty ride home.

Which makes me wonder, why are children’s #2’s so rank and large? How can something that literally looks like a small creature come out of a little person? I believe I’ve had my toilet clogged so many times and using the stick to break it up because it was way. too. big. So of course, I had to use logic on this one. Perhaps it’s her diet. I was blessed to have a picky eater. I say it’s a blessing because most of the time, she eats fresh fruits and vegetables-never cooked or from the can. She rarely eats meals like chicken and mashed potatoes unless it’s chicken tenders and french fries. She loves salad greens, rice with either some ketchup, soy, or BBQ sauce and she likes kim chee, sushi rice and pizza. I think she may be the only child that does not like spaghetti o’s and ravioli and I think she’s a closet vegetarian because she does not like much meat except ham. So it could be her diet. She recently ate some popcorn the other day, but ended up eating the whole bag. So that was I saw in her poo that looked like melted chocolate candy and smelled like slightly sweet stinky mess. I had to get the answer to this and I found a website called what else, Mampedia where wisdom is shared by other mothers. I wish found out about this site right after I had my daughter. But anyway, many of the mothers suggested increasing fiber  and water your child’s diet and if possible, take some Miralax. I thought, she’s good in the fruit dept, but I certainly know she needs more veggies. Good luck with that. What scared me a little was when one mom said that her pediatrician told her that her child’s intestine was stretched out and that’s why she was having megash*ts. I hope my baby doesn’t have that issue, considering she does have a hernia and all. Her checkup is due this year, so I will bring this to her pediatricians’ attention.


So for right now, the baby will be drinking more water and less milk. She likes carrots and salad greens, but I’ma need jesus to take the wheel on broccoli, string beans, and legumes. And speaking of Dr’s appts, I will be making that this week and finally getting rid of that hernia. That’s what may be giving her pain. Until then, it is important that our kids get enough fiber as possible. I was in the hospital a few years ago for constipation issues that almost resulted in an obstructed bowel. I was hunched over in extreme pain and had to wait 12 hrs to finally be seen(it was a military hospital). I don’t want her to end up like I did so that’s why the change begins now.

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